Armor Amor

I've never felt so much steel.
The weight must be beyond your strongest will.
Circling in and out,
waiting to be caught and fed as a meal.

Your hard armor butts against my soft shell.
Soft only to those whom go by 'lover'.
You watch as my eyes begin to swell.
A kiss, you say, will make you die?

Lay down my strong steed.
There is no need, begin to rest with me.
I am not your enemy.
The hands second will help us be.

Layers upon layers begin to unbind.
A sun stricken armor fills the carpeted floor.
I dare not look saturated-steel feels unkind.
Caught by an eye, a small stitch begins to unravel, and then amor.

Don't be in haste when reaching for the metal.
As your head begins to rattle.
Hear my words, "You are safe".
Spin around, a dare taken, awaits.

Winter Anomaly

I met her one snow covered day.
It was the feeling of depth.
Hidden away from all that was in the way.
Games were the beginning of the way we sway.

Time collapsed.
Everything began to burn.
Dreams shattered turning to sap.
The the winter sang, "dreamers have a turn."

Harvest was upon us and words began to fly.
Emotion seeped deep.
Deny her.
Deny her.

Winter snow blew us,
upon the wounded table.
Tears, fears, trust.
Guards marched; fight who they're able.

Mending the story for a happy ending.
Growing green house dreams.
O' what went wrong?
An ally, not so much, a movie's Scream.

Winter came with much wonder.
Begging for a time warp.
Feelings of familiar ponder.
Silence...and done?

A view worth a thousand lies.
Questions blaze...
Emotions halt the dreary tie.
Stricken with the truth.
Finger nails stripping the chalk ridden board.

Can't seem to let you go.
Haunting years.
Please, please I beg you to sew,
our summoned fears.

Let it be,
a future awaits we.

I was warm when you entered my home.
I lent you my shoulder when your strength weakened.
I prepared food for your soul.
I praised you for respect.

I mended the harsh words.
I salvaged the relationship.
I showered you with gifts when the holiday was upon us.
I asked for your unbiased advise.
I opened my heart to you.
I trusted you.
You called me 'friend'.

You had another plan.
You fed off her dispair.
Longed for her highs and lows.
Your motivation changed.
You began to slither.
Your prey was near.
The long grass camouflaged your intent.

She listened.
You gathered the broken pieces.
Elder words radiated.
Her body easily entered your lubricated tongue.
Lies were in transition.

I became suspicious.
Accusations ran...

waiting...perched high, ready for salvation.

Truths stained the air.
Exausted. Her breath slowed, she escaped.

SHE salvaged the relationship.

The GOOD fight

On the defeat of the anti-discrimination bill in Olympia, Cammermeyer says we need to learn from the experience and figure out to how to succeed next time. She says, "I continue to wonder how I can do more." She believes, "First, you live your truth. And you do that with dignity, with grace, and with visibility. Then you're active in your community," whether that's the gay community, your workplace, or any other sort. As you live your truth, she feels, the misconceptions others have of you because you're gay, or former military, or a Democrat, weaken.

As long as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" exists and people can't serve openly, and as long as gays and lesbians in the state of Washington can be fired from their jobs simply because of their orientation, Cammermeyer has a mission. "Until that changes, those are the issues that I will be speaking out on behalf of," she says.

~Dr. Grethe Cammermeyer RN, PhD

This morning I watch 'Serving in Silence', starring Glenn Close. This movie is based on true coming out story of Col. Grethe Cammermeyer. It's worth seeing-

At least take a look at her website: http://www.cammermeyer.com

Growing Home

Yesterday I was asked to write a blog, now blogging is not my most favorite pastime but sometimes I produce something worth reading. Ha!

Today, she headed home. The last few weeks have been very stressful as trips home can be very eventful. We've rehearsed and roll played all possible scenarios, unfortunately *all* scenarios can't be forecasted.

This moment she is spending time with her aunt and her partner, reminiscing about her childhood, the good and I'm sure the bad. Talking of the present, how life has landed her obstacles and rewards, how she's finally happy.

I'm happy for her. Happy she can finally connect with family, this is long overdue. Little did she realize it would be a woman, whose name was scowled as a child. She finally meets this woman, as a woman, and admires everything she represents.

As she lay in bed, I'm sure she questions all the negativity that was casted upon this name. Why? Why would someone place their negative feelings and thoughts on their child?

As a mother, she's realizes the impact this has on an innocent child. How easily minds can be molded, how this is not fair.

Fingers will not be pointed on this trip and hopefully no future trip-home. Home should not represent shame, only growth. This is how she has grown. Home makes her grow.

I am proud of her growth. Never stop.

Friends

I spoke with a friend from college today. She is a strong woman that I have much deserving respect. We met my second year of college and have been friends for over 10 years. She is nearly 1800 miles away but never too far for a chat.

I appreciate the excitement in her voice when she hears mine. Recently we've both been living life and haven't spoken; today I decided to give her a shout. She always gives me a great big 'Hello!', even though its been months. It's amazing when time still passes and a conversation never seems distant.

I believe life has chosen for us to be distant friends, friends that will always make time to hear our happiness or sorrows but never judge if either has to get off the phone - abruptly.

It's forgiveness. It's trust. It's friendship.

It's not every day that we meet someone that will end up being our friend for life.

Sometimes...

Sometimes when I read her blog I cry...

Sometimes when I read her blog I cringe...

Somtimes when I read her blog I shed tears for her...

Sometimes when I read her blog I smile...

Sometimes when I read her blog I laugh...

and...

Sometimes when I read her blog I think, "I'm so lucky"...

...my favorite.